What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
