Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
