so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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