Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
