I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
