Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
you would pick up someone in the library
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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