you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Bring me that man meat
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
