no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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