Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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