In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
