You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
