none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
