): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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