I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
