Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I intend to get homeless drunk
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
