she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
