I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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