are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize