it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
