some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
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