idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
