It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
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