She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
