I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize