GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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