He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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