If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Randomize
