Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
