im drinking this country out of the recession.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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