I never want to see another naked old woman again.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
My pussy is not your playground.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
it's like heaven, but drunker
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
