Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
