He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
