as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
You're like the curious george of whores
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
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