next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
