I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
