i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
