He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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