hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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