maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
i think we sleep fucked last night...
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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