I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
