So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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