I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
