Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
His hands were made for my vagina.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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