and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Randomize
