So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
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