It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
