Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize
