Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
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