sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Randomize
