Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
What a dumb baby whore.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize