love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
