It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
