ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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