So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
