My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
