So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize