Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
