i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Randomize
