i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
