we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
