id be glad to
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
