Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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