Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
