3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
