That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Randomize
