Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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