so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
