Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
