either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
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