Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
